‘how do i prepare myself to be robbed? […] i want to stand my ground and at least seem threatening. how do i get tougher and less scared of people jumping out and surprising me?’
-neither fight nor flight in the fourth row
from mbmbam 214: face 2 face x: cragislist croutons
we are soon crossing a threshold in which new generations will see this very specific combination of audio and image and will not apply any meaning to it, for they have not observed these relics first hand
“I kill Rascal.” “I’m gonna centre on the place where I see that fish, and all of his other fish friends, and I’m gonna cast reverse gravity.” “I cast banishment.” “I didn’t give the fish a fucking Charisma stat, Clint!” “It turns and swallows you whole?” “I don’t know what that means but I know it’s not gonna be good-”
i know this is old but also, i hope the memory of the time the boys fucked up griffin’s fishing plan so bad never gets forgotten
I realized halfway through making this song that I had stolen the hook, note for note, from Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Run Away With Me,” the second best song on the best album of 2015. I kind of leaned into it.
Justin:Griffin’s just sitting at the end… juggling–fushigi-ing two glass balls in super tight pants, just waiting for his kid delivery.
Griffin: [dismissively] Well, they’d–
Justin:Once he, bests his minions.
Griffin:–they would be Pokeballs, and also it’s not a kid delivery, this’n–there’s no fuckin’ guarentee that a kid that comes [intense] INTO THE BEGINNING of my crucible… makes it to the END of it undefeated. [beat, stammering] In fact, I–I’d say–I’m gonna pack–I’m gonna stack this gym! With fuckin’ PROS. I-It’s gonna–It’s going to be… It’s–It’s gonna be brutal. It’s going to be a torture chamber.
Travis:What–well, what’s the theme? What’s the theme, are you like–is it a Bug theme, is it–
Griffin: [thickest, most annoyed sarcasm imaginable] YEAH TRAVIS, UH, UH, UH, UUUHYEAH TRAV! I’M GONNA OPEN UP A ~Bug-type~ Pokemon gym! You idiot! Yeah, that’s what I want, because I want to give out–I wanna–I wanna shit out badges for every… ham and egger that comes to my front door!
Justin: [laughing]
Griffin: Yeah, that’s right Travis! [doofus voice] “Go, Caterpie!” [normally] That’s me, you fucking imbecile. [bad Justin Roiland impression] “Yeuh go… do your best, Kakuna!” [normally, smile in voice] What are you fucking talki–?! Yeah, Bug-type gym.
Justin: …maybe Fire? Fire-type, could you do Fire-type?
Travis:Fire-based? Make it a–
Griffin: Yeah, yeah, I’ll probably just… that’s a good idea Justin, I’ll probably just do a Fire-type one, so that [angry screaming] ONE KID WITH ONE BLASTOISE CAN FUCK UP MY WHOLE SHOP.
Justin: [laughing quietly]
Griffin:Killed all of us with one Blastoise, huh? Wow, shit, I shoulda…
Justin: Yeah, I don’t–
Travis: Just do Rock, then! Just do Rock-type!
Griffin: [voice dripping with malice] …the same Blastoise,
Izzie’s tumblr archive 