I have no concept of the pain scale, like…I just realized that last week I said I was in especially awful hip pain and when my pt asked to rate it I said “3”. And then this week I said I felt a lot better than last week and when she asked me to rate it I said “3”. I really don’t know what the numbers are supposed to be. I know it’s supposed to be out of ten but like. I think I rate the pain by what time of the day it is. Like “i will rate the pain I’m in at a 5 at the end of the day, so compared to what my pain level will be later, what I’m feeling right now is a 3.” I also think i rate in overall pain rather than specific pain? Like, systemically I’m at a five. Some parts will be worse or better but i just rate it all at five because that’s the average
Can you call up a therapist and be like “hi, I’m therapist shopping”? Can you schedule an appointment with a therapist and then be like “actually I have some questions and I want to spend part of this appointment talking about your practice and whether or not it is garbage?”? Are you expected to phone interview/screen your therapists if you are shopping around for a therapist?
If you’re seeing one therapist are you supposed to/not supposed to tell them if you start seeing another therapist? Is it possible to cheat on your therapist?
I know this one! Or, at least, I know a way to do it, because I’ve done it.
1) When you call them up (or email them, which I prefer, because PHONE, EW), you ask if they’re taking new patients.
2) If they say yes, say something along the lines of “Great! I’m looking for a new therapist. Would it be possible for me to schedule an appointment so we can see whether we’d be a good fit for one another?”
IF THEY SAY NO, THEY DON’T DO ‘INTERVIEWS’: they’re a dick, you don’t want them anyway, don’t bother to make an appointment
3) Assuming everything is a go, head over to the appointment. Bring your notebook, pen, and questions. Also, if possible, have a very brief rundown prepared of what you’d like to accomplish with your therapy (or even what you think your biggest issues are).
4) Introduce yourself. Reiterate that you want to see if the two of you would be a good fit, so [a nice little social laugh or smile here, while holding up your notebook] you brought questions.
IF THEY DON’T LIKE THAT: they’re a dick, you don’t want them anyway, cut the meeting short
5) Give the rundown of what you want, what your issues are, whatever. See how they react.
IF YOU FEEL WEIRD AT ALL ABOUT THEM: they may not be a dick, but if you don’t feel comfortable with them, then it’s going to be a shit therapeutic relationship
6) Ask your questions — about their therapeutic approach, why they entered the field, whether they feel comfortable working with *your* needs (I, for instance, specifically told my awesome therapist that I needed her to tell me absolutely nothing about her personal life or experiences — as much as possible, I needed a blank wall to bounce things off of. It’s been years now, and I THINK she’s seen at least a couple of episodes of Doctor Who. I THINK. That’s all I’ve got. It’s amazing).
AGAIN, IF YOU FEEL WEIRD ABOUT THEM: go with your gut — your therapy is not the time or place to try and soldier through
7) By this point, you’ve probably hit the 45 minute mark, and you’ll know if you want to see this person again.
IF YES, say that this was a really great meeting, and you’d like to set up a regular appointment.
IF NO, say “Thanks for meeting with me.” If it wasn’t too terrible, feel free to add in whatever social niceties you want to lessen the blow (“I have appointments with a few other people, still, but thank you again!”), or you could just skedaddle as soon as possible.
IF YOU’RE NOT SURE, go a bit heavier with the social nicety: “I still have appointments with a few other people, but I really enjoyed our meeting. I’ll let you know as soon as possible if I’d like to schedule another one. Thanks again!”
Regarding current therapists: If they’re toxic, get rid of ‘em before you even start interviewing others. Nobody needs that kind of garbage. Otherwise, you could keep seeing them while you interview others, and then the second you find one you like (and you schedule your next appointment), get rid of your current one. You don’t have to say why — just say that you’d like to cancel future appointments. Do it over email, if you want. If you like them, you can tell them that you just need something different now, but that you “really appreciate all the work we’ve done together” or something. If you don’t like them, just cancel. They don’t need to know jack.
IF YOUR CURRENT THERAPIST SAYS SHIT ABOUT YOUR LEAVING — and I mean anything other than a positive hope for you in the future — then they were a dick and you were right to find someone else. Who needs passive-aggressive bullshit from a therapist? Nobody, that’s who.
So that’s my philosophy/style with regard to therapist shopping — I may be completely wrong, but it’s worked for me so far. Good luck!
Every Sunday night I write a to-do list for the coming week, and every week I get through about half of the tasks on it, if I’m lucky.
In the last couple of months I’ve started to make the list a bit more realistic on Monday morning, by adding symbols which indicate the likelihood I’ll get to that task.
This is my system, and it’s genuinely increased my productivity.
Izzie’s tumblr archive 